I have this burning itch (no internet, not that kind, eww you sicko!). It’s this desire to do something, to be something, to accomplish more. I’ve always felt like I was meant for so much more.
I am constantly finding things that truly inspire me, that make me want to take action and put myself out there.
Things that are currently inspiring me:
1) Jasmine Star – J* is AMAZING to say the least. I already knew that from reading her blog, stalking her website/twitter/facebook, and just generally being obsessed with her. But her CreativeLIVE workshop this past weekend took my insane obsession to an entirely new level. She is awe-inspiring, her courage is so motivating, she makes me want to grab my camera and chase after my life-long dream of being a photographer.
2) Jaime Clapp – Jaime has become one of my closest friends over the past year or so. Our friendship developed through emails, texts, and facebook chats; after I originally emailed her, professing my love for her photography. She’s photographing our wedding this August and I couldn’t be more excited! Not only is she an incredible photographer, she has the biggest heart and sweetest personality of anyone I know. Every time we have one of our deep, text conversations, it makes my week. Hell, who am I kidding? It makes my month!
3) Ashley Goodwin – I happened upon Ashley, and all her fabulousness, when I saw her attending Jasmine Star’s CreativeLIVE workshop. I was instantly drawn to her. I kept thinking to myself, “She sounds so much like me.” She was asking all of the same sorts of questions I would’ve asked and I could see that drive, that deep desire in her, that I have in me. She gets it, she wants it, and now she wants to go out and create it for herself. When I checked out her blog and her website, it was all over. I was even more madly obsessed with her and her photography.
I’m realizing a common theme here, are you? All of my inspirations come from photography. It’s no surprise to me, considering I’ve had a camera in my hand since I was 8 years old.
I’ve always thought about pursuing a career in photography, but I guess it’s the fear that gets to me. Fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, fear of people not liking my work. But why? Why do I let the fear and the negative self-talk deter me?
I’ve actually gotten some awesome feedback from some of the local photography professors and photographer’s guilds in our area. One professor told me, “Your photos show me that you have some real talent and a good eye that just needs some encouragement and to be developed in the right direction.” Getting that, among other compliments, in an email really made my day.
People always say there are thousands of photographers out there, they say photographers don’t make any money. Well there may be thousands of photographers, but there’s only one ME. Just like there’s only one Jasmine Star, one Jaime Clapp, and one Ashley Goodwin. And who cares about the money, at this point I’m not going to be in it to make money. Sure it’d be really nice to make money doing it, but I can’t afford to just quit my extremely well paying day job. Not with a mortgage, bills, a student loan, and a wedding to pay for.
What’s the scary part? I’m a planner. Which of course drives J crazy, he’s constantly telling me that I need to just relax and he wonders why I can’t just settle in to anything? He says I’m always on to the next thing. I’m definitely all about goals, I’m an extremely goal-oriented person. (Hell, it’s how we fulfilled our pipe dream of moving to Alaska!) So the “unknown” of jumping into photography and whether I’ll be any good at it or be able to make any money is part of the scary ,”unknown” for me, I guess. I can’t “plan” that part and have a game plan in place. All I can do is try, practice, and see how things go.
I’m also such an overplanner, that when I think I about getting into photography, my mind immediately jumps to what my web address will be, what my logo will look like, how I want my website designed, and I tend to put the cart before the horse so to speak. I need to stop thinking so big, so far ahead, and just focus on the here and now.
For me, for now, I think the most important part is to remember to stay inspired. I get so inspired and fired up after watching people pursue their dreams, regardless of the risk. I’m like “Let’s go! Let’s do this! I’m ready!” But why do I let my own negative self-talk overshadow my drive to follow my dreams? Why do let my inspiredness (yes I just made that word up, what of it?) fade and wane? Stop being so scared Kristin. So what if you try it out and it just winds up being a hobby? What do you have to lose? You’ll only gain more knowledge and you know how utterly addicted you are to learning new things, it’s like your own personal drug.
So here’s me, making a commitment to get out there, get shooting, practice, practice, practice, and practice some more. I’ve already started networking with other photographers about the potential to second shoot, so we’ll see where that takes me. I’m also planning to apply for a scholarship through the local art guild, to help pay for some photography classes. To say I’m excited about the idea of it all, would be an understatement.
Note to self: STAY inspired!
(this is one of the photos I showed to a member of the local photographer’s guild, it was his favorite, he even called it the best in show!)