**This post is a little late, I had it drafted and never had time to finish it last week. But better late than never right?**
So I’m going to just be honest here, I thought about sugar coating things and making them seem all cheery and a-ok, but that just wouldn’t be me. I pride myself in honesty and expect it from others. The gender ultrasound was somewhat of a disappointment. Not because of the results, but because it just seems so unclear and the Dr. kept saying she “thinks” it’s a girl. At the end of the appointment I asked her point blank, “How accurate is this and can we start telling people it’s a girl or should we hold off?” Her response was that she’s 85% sure, but she wants to do a repeat ultrasound at 28 weeks (2 freakin’ months from now!!) to make sure. She said that sometimes the penis and scrotum (yes I totally just used the anatomically correct verbiage there) can be tucked up underneath and hiding from view, but that she’s pretty sure it’s a girl.
I guess maybe J and I were looking for more of a, “IT’S A _____!! 100% IT’S A ______!!” either way, whether a boy or a girl. We both left there feeling a little confused and J turned to me and said, “Well I wouldn’t start going crazy buying anything just yet. Maybe wait until 28 weeks and see what she says then.” Which I’m fine with because there’s nothing we need to buy at this point anyway. I wasn’t planning to go out and go buck wild buying all sorts of pink or blue things, besides I’m not really into pink, so I doubt I’ll ever dress our daughter in head to toe pink, just not my thing.
Soooo…if it IS indeed a girl, meet Miss Scarlett. Her cute little face, hands, and feet are in the top ultrasound and what the Dr. “thinks” are her “girly parts” in the bottom one.
While I’m being honest, I’m having some mixed feelings about the entire thing and I’m trying to sort it all out. I can’t decide if I’m bummed because I thought it was going to be a boy and I’m wrong (Lord knows we all hate when we’re wrong) or if it’s because I really wanted it to be a boy. Maybe a little bit of both? It’s funny because this entire time I’ve thought it was a boy, but in every dream I’ve had about the baby, it’s been a girl. Maybe my subconscious was trying to tell me something?
Don’t get me wrong, we’re more than happy either way, so long as it’s healthy. I guess I was just expecting the Dr. to say, “Its a boy!!” or to be able to see his “boy parts” on the screen and when she didn’t, I was left a little perplexed. What’s funny is a few years back (when we still lived in CA) we actually thought we were pregnant, but it turned out to be an ovarian cyst. After all of the excitement and ultimately the let down, we ended up having a lot of discussions about having kids. At the time I wanted a girl SOOOO badly. I think because I helped raise my nephew for the first 4-5 years of his life, I felt like I’d already done the “boy thing”. But actually being pregnant now, all of my feelings were completely different.
I’m starting to warm up to the idea of a girl more and more now though. I was even doodling her name, trying to embrace the idea of a girl.
I actually expected J to be a lot more disappointed than he is, since he was so adamant it was going to be a boy. I think I’m struggling with the idea of a girl more than he is. He was so sweet, after our ultrasound when I asked him if he was bummed, he said, “Why would I be bummed? It’s still a beautiful child, our beautiful child.” Reason # 4,892 why I love him. Of course he followed it up with, “Now from ages 12-18, my life will be a living hell and I’ll barely sleep.” 🙂 He’s such a protective dad already.
How Far Along: 20 weeks
Size of baby: 6 1/2 inches, 10 1/2 ounces, the size of a small cantaloupe.
Total Weight Gain: 4 lbs, not too shabby so far.
Maternity Clothes: Nothing much new so far. I still need to find some gray work pants, I’ve just been rocking my black ones so far and it’s getting a little old.
Gender: 85% it’s a girl, we’ll *hopefully* confirm it in 2 months.
Movement: The peanut is still dancing all around. I can’t wait until J can feel it from the outside. Right now I get so excited telling him that it’s moving and he just looks at me like, “Yea? And?”
Sleep: Good Lord, apparently I just can’t get enough sleep lately. The weekend before last, on Sunday I slept until 8:30am, then 1/2 way through the day I fell asleep on the couch for 4 hours or so, and then when J got home from dipnetting around 6 or 7, I fell asleep for an hour or so with him!! I even fell asleep on the couch Monday night when I was waiting for him to get home from work. I’ve noticed that it’s getting more uncomfortable for me as time goes on. Monday night when we were laying on the couch, I just couldn’t get comfortable and I wanted to lay on my stomach so bad!! I got so frustrated that I couldn’t get comfortable, I’m sure this is only thebeginning.
What I miss: Yummy, fruity cocktails. We went to Red Robin when we were in Anchorage and whenever I saw all of the colorful, festive, fruity cocktails walking past I got a little sad. I’m not a big drinker by any means, but they just looked so good. Maybe it’s only because I know I can’t have them.
Cravings: I had the most intense craving for raviolis the weekend before last. I actually thought about calling and having them delivered. When I finally got them for lunch on Monday, it was sort of a let down, they weren’t what I wanted at all. I’ve been bad about that lately, everything I eat or munch on isn’t what I want and then I’m on to the next thing, it’s so frustrating.
Symptoms: Still rocking the constant heartburn. The newest symptom I had last week was round ligament pains. For those of you who have never been pregnant, the round ligaments surround your uterus and as the uterus is growing and shifting (particularly in the second trimester) it can bring on sharp pains or jabbing feelings in your groin area. This is a new development over the last few days. When I roll over on the couch or in bed or even when I brought my knee up to my chest to put my socks on yesterday morning. They’re not unbearable or super painful, they just come out of nowhere, surprise you, and take your breath away. I’ve noticed if I get up off the couch or out of the car too quickly I get them too.
What I’m looking forward to: It’s almost time to start silver fishing again, which I’m definitely looking forward to. I didn’t do much red fishing this year, but I’m ready for silvers to start. I’m also looking forward to the fall and duck hunting season. I’m not sure how many times I’ll be able to go out duck hunting since we go out so early in the morning (we get up at about 2:00 or 3:00am), unless I make a huge effort to be in bed early the night before. I just can’t run on little to no sleep anymore. Before being pregnant, I could go out fishing with J and not get home until 1:00am, then get back up for work at 6:30am. Of course I’d be a little tired at work all day, but nothing like I am now. The two times I tried to do it this year, I felt like death the next day. One of the days I even ended up getting sick at work, no fun at all. I know if I don’t go duck hunting I’ll miss it like crazy though. I’ve already had the itch to go trap shooting since early Spring.